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2.25.2010

I can't sleep...

So I've had this cookbook for years- long before my desire to become self sustained (long from that, BTW, but I do have the desire) and get back to the basics, long even before children. I first checked this book out of the library in middle school. Then I bought it.
I was OBSESSED with the Little House on the Prairie books as a child. I read the ENTIRE series at LEAST seven times. I wanted to go back in time and live with them.

So I've unearthed it to see if anything in it will be of use. I'll let you know.

The not sleeping... it's my own fault. For some insane reason I've been worrying entirely too much about other people's children lately (well, always, but more than normal lately). There is the little boy in my last post, a really unfortunate case of a girl I went to school with who was apparently beating (or her husband was beating, no one knows and of course they won't say) her 11 week old baby (thank GOD the baby is fine and far away from them... wish I had more faith in the court systems that it will remain that way...). And then there's Layla. In the course of my life as an mother who is (overly) active online I often run across these stories. Always they make me sad and usually they remind me to be eternally grateful for my own healthy children, but this girl has affected me much more profoundly. Obviously I feel empathy for the parents as I can't imagine going through this. And my brother died of cancer as well, but he was older (18) and it wasn't neuroblastoma. I don't know. We often don't know fully WHY particular people and events move us more than others. They just do. It might be because, in the pictures on the Feb 16th post she is wearing the very same Pajamas my own daughter has on right this moment. But I feel like I'm sitting vigil for her right now. And I don't know why.

I was also moved by this little boy's fight. In this case I definitely know why- I relate to the Mother. I can't even fathom the possibility, but if I were in her place I think I would react and feel similarly to her.

... what more can I say. Read the blogs and go hug your children. At the very least (and despite my growing sleep deprivation) this has made me put my own trivial, almost non-existant problems into perspective. I have hugged each of my own children at least 500 times today. I didn't loose my temper. I didn't even WANT to loose my temper. Even when Izzy (accidentally, but out of carelessness) smacked me in the face with a stick at the dog park this morning. Or when Oliver bit my hip while climbing into my lap this evening (anyone else's kid do this? he uses his head/teeth as a sort of fifth appendage to climb onto things).

I'll post my meal plan tomorrow. It seems unimportant at the moment.

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