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10.01.2011

How to express an opinion without being judgy in 6 easy steps.

I sometimes forget how annoyingly judgey moms can be because I choose to surround myself with moms, both in real life and on the internet (via the blogs I follow, facebook, etc) who are open minded.  However, one click over to Kitchen Stewardship's guest article on incorporating vegetables into your kids' breakfast (check it out, it's got great suggestions) at babycenter.com reminded me quick.

At the top of the page was a disturbing article blatently making fun of moms who choose to consume their own placenta.  One written by someone who obviously didn't even choose to look into WHY a mother would choose to do so.  I admit, this was a practice that turned my stomach a little at first, but instead of making snap judgements I read a little into WHY someone would want to do it, and now I understand.

And after the article in one commenter says "If you eat and enjoy veggies why wouldn’t your kids? Then you wouldn’t have to sneak them in. This is all theory considering my baby is still in my belly but it does work on my husband… He’s a big kid."

Seriously?  Nothing makes me crazier than non-parents who think they KNOW what us parents are doing wrong.  If our kids don't eat veggies/are picky eaters it MUST be our fault for not setting a good example (or insert other reason).  You just wait.  Give it a year.  My kid eat vegetables (mostly), but are picky about plenty of other foods that I have consistantly served and enjoyed since their birth.  Kids are picky because they are picky.  Their brains are wired to prefer sweet and avoid bitter, to distrust the new and unusual, and to generally be particular.  Because in the past these traits would have made survival more likely as carbohydrates tend to be sweet and toxic substances tend to be bitter, and not eating usual things further ensures they won't consume anything poisonous. 

But I do think it is important to express one's opinion- we shouldn't keep our thoughts to ourselves (as long as they are open minded informed thoughts) for fear of being percieved as judgey.  So I've come up with a checklist.
  1. Do you know what you're talking about?  If no, stop talking/typing and read something about the topic in question.  The internet is good for more than facebook and watching stupid videos.
  2. If your arguement involves the phrase "it's just wrong," see #1.
  3. If your arguement involves the phrase "I _______ and I turned out okay," see #1.
  4. This is the most challenging part- once you know something on the topic you are discussing, express your opinion and the reasons behind it but remain open to other people's views on the topic.
  5. Uunderstand that while a particular thing works for you, something else might work for someone else.
  6. Don't be a jerk.*
*This is generally a great rule for anyone in any situation.  I'm just saying.

1 comment:

simply heidi said...

I can't even express how much I love this post. It's awesome.
If anyone disagrees with me, well... that's just wrong. :)

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